“What if you get attached to both of them?” Well too late, we’re attached. And guess what? That’s okay! That’s exactly how it should be.
Trust me I get it, when we first started training I was TERRIFIED. I honestly didn’t believe I had what it took to love a child as my own, build a bond, and then possibly have to say goodbye forever. Aust is truly the reason we are certified. Seriously, that amazing man pulled me through all my doubts and fears.
Before we knew it we were certified and had our first placement, Nash. He changed everything. After meeting him It all made sense, we knew we were exactly where we needed to be. Instead of worrying about the what if scenario’s, We knew we needed to love these kids fully and let attachments/relationships form. Once we changed our mindset all of my worries and fears didn’t seem that big anymore. Who cares if it’s hard? Who cares if it’s emotional? Who cares if it breaks my heart in the end? It’s about the kids that come into our home, not me. They don’t have the choice in where they are, the very least we can do is give them a loving & stable relationship.
Don’t get me wrong sometimes its hard to allow yourself to attach. When the whole process gets hard it might seem easier to detach and not involve your feelings. Trust me you will have those hard days! We have LOTS of them. Days where cases are emotionally draining and you will be overwhelmed by the unknown. Days where you will question every bit of your parenting and feel completely exhausted. Days full of redirecting, tantrums, trauma and high emotions. It can be a lot at times, but It’s the little moments & the days where you see the progress and breakthroughs that will pull you through. That growth will make all the hard worth it. Being able to watch a child grow, learn, trust and connect with those around them is the absolute best thing ever.
A common question I get is “what’s your favorite part about being a foster mom?” Well it’s simple, it’s the attachments I’ve formed with our two incredible little boys. It has changed my world for the better. So my biggest advice to anyone starting their foster journey…GET ATTACHED. Don’t be afraid of the what if’s or the possible heart break. Allow yourself to bring your guard down and love those kids with all you’ve got. I promise you, you won’t regret that special bond no matter how hard the goodbye could be.